WOLF LOYALTY

CHAPTER ELEVEN

Full Moon

*

I lie on the couch with my head on Rogers’s lap. I feel like I could lie here forever. It makes me uneasy.

Rogers and I have agreed to be friends with benefits, but ever since we talked about it, I haven’t allowed myself to so much as kiss him.

I know I’m being stupid, but I can’t quite get over what happened the last time I trusted a guy. Raymond broke my heart, and it still hasn’t healed.

Rogers and I aren’t a couple, but I can’t help worrying that having sex with him again will1 just make me even more attached. Then what will I do if he betrays me as Raymond did? I don’t know if my heart can take that.

Are you ok? You look like you’re thinking very hard about something.”

it’s on the tip of my tongue to confess my thoughts, but I stop myself at the last moment.

Rogers will probably just think I’m silly, or be offended that I don’t trust him.Belongs to (N)ôvel/Drama.Org.

The worst part is, he’d probably be right.

Rogers is a completely different man to Raymond. Expecting him to make Raymond”s mistakes is just stupid. I shouldn’t have a problem trusting him because of what happened in my previous engagement.

My broken heart doesn’t seem to agree. So far, the fear of being burned again has overwhelmed my desire for Rogers e, but it’s a close call.

I sit up, forcing myself to move a little away so that our shoulders are just barely brushing. I gave up on watching the movie about an hour ago.

I think Rogers did too he’s been watching me.

“I’m just wondering about the engagement party.” That’s not entirely untrue. A wedding has a lot of practical aspects, which I’m loving.

With Raymond, the practical stuff was a nightmare. I’ve never liked event planning.

Now, it’s an excellent way to distract me from my conflicted feelings about Rogers, and the hurt of what Raymond did.

How long until that hurt goes away? It seems. like it lI last forever.

“Yes, we do need to sort that out. Do you have any preferences for a date?”

I was thinking the night of the full moon.

That venue we looked at has a wonderful balcony. We’ll be able to see the moon from there, and maybe take some pictures with it as a backdrop. It’ll be beautiful.”

Rogers is silent for a minute, and I glance at him. His expression isn’t what I’m expecting.

Why does he look alarmed? It’s just a date.

“Not that night. I – um, it doesn’t work for me. I’ve got – work that night. In fact, I’m going to be away for work for those few days.”

I try to hide my disappointment. I’ve been living with Luke for two weeks, and in that time, the mystery has only deepened.

Rogers’s sites work as a reason for several meetings with the other people in his building. They always stop talking whenever I come close.

I get the feeling that they don’t like me, but why?

I haven’t done anything to earn any sort of dislike. Rogers has kept me inside as much as possible-kept me away from them. I don’t understand it.

“Alright, not that night, then.”

Should I ask him where he’s going? No, that l just get more evasions, if not outright lies.

What about the week after that?”

Rogers smiles in relief. “Sounds perfect.”

I sit quietly in thought until the movie finishes. When it does, I say goodnight to Rogers. I can see his eyes on my body.

It’s clear he still wants me, but he can also tell that I’m pulling away. He’s giving me the space I need to sort out my thoughts.

It’s more than Raymond ever gave me. Raymond wanted what he wanted when he wanted it. Rogers is different.

If only my broken heart could understand that.

To into the spare room – my room, now and get out my journal. It’s not a typical journal that I use to write about my day. I use it to write about the mystery of Rogers.

I page through to the next blank page and write an entry for today.

Rogers acted weird when I mentioned the full moon. I let it pass. He says he has work stuff for that night, but I doubt it’s true.

I pause, wondering.

Exactly how mad will Rogers be if I do what I’m thinking of doing?

How long can I keep going without knowing his secret before it drives me insane?

Coming to a decision, I open my laptop and type out an email to Thomas Harrison. I’ve used him before for work.

This doesn’t exactly work, but he won’t care about that.

“Hi, Jim. I need someone to follow for a few days at the end of this month the five days around the full moon. His name is Aiden Rogers. I can give you his address and further details. Let me know if you’re available.”

I hesitate for a moment, but then press send.

I’m going to marry Rogers. It may not be a real marriage, but I still don’t want there to be any secrets between us. I’m sure Rogers will be happier when I know. Clearly, he’s not willing to tell me himself, which leaves me little choice.

I freeze as I hear footsteps, but they pass my room. Rogers is just going to bed.

Even though I know I have good reasons, I feel guilty about the email I just sent. I grab my phone and text Amanda.

“Amanda I’ve hired someone to follow Rogers for a few

nights.” I texted her.

“Risky move. Do you think it’ll pay off?” She sent.

“I hope so! It’s only a matter of time until I find

out anyway, regardless of what investigation I do. Living with him just shows me how much he’s hiding.” I replied

“I’m not sure he thought that through before he offered me the fake marriage,” I replied again.

“I think he had other things on his mind” Manda sent

I don’t respond to that. Hannah keeps insisting that Rogers’s feelings for me are more than friendly.

I don’t believe her. Or perhaps I don’t want to believe her.

If she’s right, then I’ll be faced with choosing between another relationship, which I’m not ready for, and losing Rogers, which is unthinkable.

“Anyway, I think you’re right about him actually wanting you to find out.”He just doesn’t want to be the one to tell you, for some reasons yet to be discovered. He’d be a lot more careful if he wanted the secret kept.” Manda replied

That much is true.

I’ve overheard a number of conversations that have hinted at more going on under the surface than I’ve seen.

If Rogers really didn’t want me to hear, he would have had those conversations in one of the other apartments, not just outside the door.

” I hope so! So we’ve set the date of the engagement party for the full moon” I texted

“Has Raymond given you any more trouble?” Manda replied

“Not since you sent him that cease and desist letter. I think he’ll be quiet for now though we may need to hire

security for the engagement party.” I texted

“More like cameras. If he gets crashes and starts misbehaving, we’ll have all the proof we need for a restraining order. Speaking of which, you need to be careful that your guy following Rogers doesn’t do anything illegal to get to the truth. Raymond might be watching, waiting for a reason to nail you on something. It’s the kind of thing he’d do.” Manda replied.

“Don’t worry, I’ve used Jim before. Roland would never accept a story that could potentially get us into legal trouble for how we acquired our information.” I texted

“That’s good. Anyway, I’m off to bed. Goodnight!” Manda replied

“Night” I texted and I put the phone aside and crawl into bed.

It’s late. I should sleep. I don’t sleep. I want to masturbate. I know it’s a bad idea. Since I’ve lived here,

I’ve discovered that Rogers has uncommonly good hearing. Like, really good.

Once, he heard me curse under my breath as I speared my hand with my keys when I was outside the door coming in. He came to check on me covered in water.

He’d been in the shower.

Who can hear a whispered word two rooms away while in the shower? The incident went in my journal for sure.

If I masturbate, Rogers will know. Worse, I don’t trust myself not to cry out his name as I come. That’ll make things awkward, to say the least.

It’s been two weeks since I’ve come, and I don’t know how much longer I can last out. Maybe I’ll have to sneak off at work to take care of myself in one of the toilet cubicles. Not the best solution, but I’m getting

desperate.

I want to groan in frustration, but of course, Rogers will hear that too. I try to think unsexy thoughts and fall asleep.

I’m already drifting off when something brings me wide awake again.

The clanking of chains quickly stifled.

I never worked out what those chains were for, but chains are seldom used for anything good.

I leap out of bed, hurrying to Rogers’s room. I’m not sure how much help I’ll be if he’s in trouble, but I have to try. I can’t stand the thought of losing him.

.