In Love With My Boyfriend’s Brother

“What plan b?”

He has a look full of second thoughts. He comes up to me and approaches me very slowly. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, making me a little airborne at his approach, and says:

“I’m going to start singing loud until I wake up all your neighbors.”

I just reply:

“You wouldn’t do that.”

He opens his eyes and arched his eyebrows with a smile on his face.

“Do you want to pay to see it?”

Why is it that every word he says so close to me now is giving me this strange shiver and chill in my stomach? He still has that smile on his face as he waits for my answer. I take a deep breath. I can’t let him do such a stupid thing, I would have to explain a lot if he started singing in this hallway at this hour. The landlord has a reputation for being extremely annoying and I’m not going to pay to see how Yan just questioned me. I finally give in even though I know I shouldn’t do that.

“All right, I will.”

He smiles contentedly, bites his lower lip, and finally turns away from me. I breathe a sigh of relief. He has a certain power over my body that I hate to admit to myself is true, wonder if I’ll ever admit it to him. Not really. According to Matt, Yan already had a lot of dates , so I’m not going to give him any more reason to have this even more inflated ego.

…

In the car I am still tense about how accepting this idea will lead me. Yan on the other hand looks like a child about to go on the coolest toy in the park. I hate to admit that I like to see him like this. I even let a smile escape my lips, which I quickly disguise.

…

We arrive in front of a place with a sign with a strong red light where it is written:

“Tatoo Mania”

I look at him perplexed. He finds my reaction amusing. I say:

“No! I’m not getting out of this car!”

He just unbuckles himself from the seat belt as he says:

“Stop being childish, Sky!”

And I like it when he says my name and looks at me like that. He gets out of the car and I get out and follow him as I say:

“I am not childish!”

“You really shouldn’t be, you’re already 21!”

I do not react now. He knows he’s won this one. He walks into the establishment and a guy with half his face tattooed greets him as if they were old friends. I just watch. Yan picks up some kind of album and as he flips through it he says:

“You like drawing, right?”

I am still half unresponsive as I look around from where I am standing. He continues:

“Matt says you are a graphic designer.”

He pretends to be looking at the drawings but looks at me out of the corner of his eye. I finally say:

“Yes, I am.”

“So you like drawing.”

I shake my head affirmatively, but then realize what’s going on and say:

“Oh no Yan! I’m not getting a tattoo.”

He looks at me and says:

“I know you’re not. I’m going to do it myself.”

He hands me the album as he sits down in the chair where the guy with the tattooed face is waiting for him as if he already has an appointment and says:

“Choose one.”

I stand still for a moment and he smiles winking an eye as he says:It’s going to be my birthday present to you. I swear I’m a little speechless right now. But he seems to be serious. I say:Content (C) Nôv/elDra/ma.Org.

“This is surely the most unusual present I’ve ever gotten.”

He looks pleased to hear it. I begin to find the idea interesting. I start to leaf through the album and stop at a picture of a joker.

“I like this one.”

It’ll look good on you. And as he extends his right arm, he says:

“So it’s going to be it.”

And I watch excitedly, as the tattoo artist marks the design on his skin. And I think:”A tattoo.””A tattoo made for me.””My tattoo. I know I shouldn’t be so fascinated, but I am.

“And that doesn’t hurt?”

I question, looking at him as the tattoo artist finishes the design on his arm. Yan replies:

‘If it didn’t hurt, what would be the fun?”

He then completes when he sees my face as if he didn’t understand this very well.

“When you dare to get a tattoo, you’ll know what I’m talking about.”

I just answer:

“I don’t think that’s going to happen. Matt doesn’t like that very much.”

Yan no longer has such a big smile on his face when I mention Matt. I cover it up too because I remind myself that this is going to be another secret I will have with Yan, and let’s just say I already have a quota of secrets I share with him. I take a deep breath as I look at the clock. It is already 4:15 in the morning. Yan says goodbye to the tattooed guy on his face and we head for my house.

Already facing my door, I stare at the tattoo there on his arm for a while, then say:

“What if you regret it someday?”

He stares deeply into my eyes for a while, takes a deep breath, and then says:

“There’s no way.”

I swear there is a lot more between the lines of what he said than I can imagine, but I won’t ask that now, I bet the alcohol he ingested earlier is still speaking for him. I just smile back and he bids me goodnight. I watch him walk down the hall and bite my lips as I realize that I enjoy his presence, I enjoy his presence very much.

…

My head hurts like hell! Katie tells me as she walks zombie-like to the table where I am eating breakfast. I say:__Fun night? She raises her eyes to me with a mischievous smile as she says:

“Sky, think of a hot man.”

I just question:

“Huh?”

She answers me as if it’s obvious:

“Yan!”

I don’t like to hear that very much. She continues:

“I swear no man has ever picked me up like that, put me against a wall, and kissed me like that.”

She sighs. My heart squeezes. I don’t understand myself anymore. I stare at her as she sighs, thinks, and describes the various ways and places Yan has grabbed her. I begin to hate to hear any more about it. I want to tell her that he may have kissed her all night, but he made a mark on her body dedicated to me, only me.

But that sounds kind of possessive in my thoughts and I start to push it out of my head because it sounds like I’m feeling jealous of Yan.”Not really!” I mentally repeat to myself several times. Sometime later and I say that I have to go to Matt’s house to explain to him what happened and why I disappeared from his bed during the early morning hours, well, tell him, but omit some things. Katie tells me that she wants to go too because she was on her cell phone with Yan earlier today and they made a date. I sigh deeply as I imagine them together again, but push those thoughts away once more.

…

We arrive at their apartment and Yan is in the living room watching TV. He sees us, looks at Katie, and then looks at me and smiles. I look at his arm which is no longer as red as it was at dawn and now I can see the joker more clearly, I feel a chill in my stomach remembering our wild adventure. Matt is coming out of the room with his hair messed up adorably. He says smiling:

“Why did you abandon me at dawn?”

We walk in and I walk over to him passing Yan who I can feel following me with his eyes, I turn to him and greet him with a hello that I barely hear him answer. Matt hugs me and gives me a lingering kiss. Katie comes over to Yan who hugs her and asks if she is okay. They start talking about last night and I swear they seem to ignore our presence. As I explain to Matt why I left at dawn, I see out of the corner of my eye that Yan has moved even closer to Katie and begins to take her hand. I don’t like how I feel.